Delicious “Tea Party” Politics

When we’re in the fox holes together, it will be essential to our morale to reminisce about favorite foods. What to talk about with liberal neighbors who FINALLY stopped giving all their power to the government? Right now, they still think all patriots are yahoos who eat nothing but Chik-fil-A and Coors. So consider this a blueprint to liberal cuisine analysis.

Yes, Thai Tea can be “the great uniter.”

Yes, it appeals to the masses due to its caffeine, sugar, and creamy milk. Hence my snob-appeal emphasis on fresh spices. And it really is a disgrace that much of the commercial “Thai Tea” is just black tea with orange food dye! Probably the color originally came from spices. The interwebs however claim that Thai Tea wasn’t invented till the 1980s; somehow I was served it in the 1970s in Los Angeles. Going to college in Claremont, I was enthralled by my first taste of Thai. I’d never eaten much peanut butter (my mom was English) so Peanut Satay Grilled Chicken blew my socks off. But my predilection for sweets elevated the iced tea to Heaven.

Another cultural oddity: I looked for peanut butter in Europe around then, and found it in a tiny jar as an exotic flavoring! I mention this as a reminder of different perspectives. Mormons I knew kept peanut butter on the dining table the way I’d keep the butter dish.

At any rate, the Thai restaurants are the only good reason to stick around Portland, Oregon. So you may want to prepare this for Portland refugees.

THAI ICE TEA FOR TWO 

RECIPE: 

3 tablespoons black tea (Assam, Ceylon, Landrance, etc)

3 ¼ cups water

Crushed ice

1 whole star anise

2 pods whole cardamom

1/4 teaspoon seedless tamarind paste

1/8 vanilla bean or ¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons sugar, or 2 teaspoons honey, and/or stevia to taste

(Store-bought has about half your daily allowance of sugar in one serving of Thai Tea!)

Approx. ½ cup coconut milk; coconut cream; oat or other nondairy milk; or evaporated dairy milk

(Add sweetened condensed milk if you’re maniacally hedonistic, or fantasizing in a fox hole.)


Crush anise and cardomom with a mortar and pestle. Bring water, anise, cardomom, tamarind and vanilla bean to a boil. (If used, add vanilla extract to cooled tea.) Take off heat and steep black tea in the concoction for 5 minutes. Then strain the mixture.

Vendors in Thailand proceed to “pull” the tea back and forth between pitchers to cool it, an acrobatic display that can substitute for popping it in the fridge for a bit. Mix it with your milk of choice; pour it into glasses over ice; and top with a splash of extra creaminess of some sort. Of course if this tea is just an imaginary vision of patiots in fox holes, add vanilla ice cream on top. Or, if you’re cold, serve this hot (no ice). Hot tea’s warming effect can be enhanced with a pinch of cinnamon.

Coconut milk provides “good” cholesterol, protecting your blood circulation. Dairy milk and sugar, though temporary mood boosters, lack other significant medicinal benefits. Cardamom can be the perfect balance to them, lowering blood sugar and triglycerides (inflammatory fats). Tea is a source of caffeine (whee!) and antioxidants (anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer). Tamarind is also anti-inflammatory and encourages healthy gut bacteria. Star anise adds a licorice flavor and is antiviral, antifungal and antibacterial.

Now don’t you want to stock Thai Tea in your survival food rations?

Orange-blossom water is another common ingredient of Thai Tea that I’d use if I had any. Not many orange blossoms here in Oregon. Did I need another reason to move to Florida?

VC Bestor is Director of the non-profit FangedWilds.org, 

a project encouraging women to engage constructively with apex predators.

"Find the meat of the matter"

V.C Bestor on Twitter,

Linked In and on GAB

and FascistBook